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SIENNA
It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm in an upper-level English lecture. The class is small, consisting of only six people including me, and my grade is heavily dependent on discussion during our time together. So I know I need to focus. But as I listen to one of my classmates wax poetic about the symbolism in our latest reading, it's hard to pay enough attention to engage in any meaningful conversation. My mind keeps wandering back to last weekend.
I can't stop thinking about dinner with Ethan. The whole evening has been stuck on repeat in my head, and it won't go away. At the end, when he'd kissed me on the cheek, it had taken every ounce of strength in me not to turn and meet his lips.
And it wasn't just that. He'd opened up to me about things I'd never heard him mention before, not even in high school. He'd talked about his feelings, about his relationship with his family. And he'd listened intently when I did the same. We'd shared something real, something meaningful. Something that had left me wanting more.
Now, I'm trying not to imagine what might have happened if I had turned my head.
"What do you think, Sienna?"
The sound of my name startles me. Everyone's eyes are on me. Including those of the professor. "Uh..." I stammer.
"Do you agree with what Daniel's saying? About the theme of loss in the book?"
Everyone is waiting for my answer. I have no idea what they're talking about. I have no idea what the theme is, or what symbolism might have been used, or whether or not any of the characters have suffered loss.
"Um, yeah," I manage to say. "I do. Definitely."
"Can you elaborate?"
I hesitate. I can feel my face getting warm. Everyone is still staring at me. The silence is stretching out. It's obvious I have no idea what the discussion is about, and that I have no opinion on the matter. I can't believe I let myself get so distracted.
"Not really," I finally say, forcing a laugh. "But Daniel makes some good points."
I glance at the professor and see that she's now giving me a stern look. Thankfully, she must know better than to waste time on bullshit answers because she calls on someone else. She throws me a look that clearly means I need to get my shit together, though, so I try harder to focus.
When class ends, I pack up my bag and hurry out of the building. The sky is gray and overcast, and it looks like rain. It matches my mood perfectly. As I'm crossing campus, heading towards my next class, a familiar figure catches my eye.
Ethan. He's standing with a few other guys, laughing at something. I pause, considering whether or not to approach him. We haven't spoken since our dinner together, and I have no idea how to act around him. Do I pretend that nothing has changed? Or do I acknowledge the fact that something definitely has changed between us?
Before I can decide, Ethan notices me. He says something to his friends and then jogs over to where I'm standing. "Hey," he says, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "What's up?"
"Not much," I answer, suddenly nervous. I gesture in the direction of the humanities building. "Just heading to my next class."
"Cool. I'm done for the day so I'm free to walk you over, if that's okay?" He seems calm, casual. Like he is in no way affected by our last interaction.
I force a smile. "Yeah, of course."
We fall into step, heading down the sidewalk together. Ethan is silent. His hands are shoved into his pockets, and his expression is unreadable. I can't tell if he's as anxious as I am or not.
For a minute or two, we just continue to walk quietly. Then, Ethan turns his head and looks at me. The sun is coming out from behind the clouds, and it makes his eyes look bluer than usual.
"You ready for this week's run?" Ethan asks, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
"Yeah, I think so." I bite my lip, trying to keep my tone light. "But I am getting pretty nervous as the distance increases."
Ethan stops walking and faces me. "Sienna," he says, his expression serious. "You can do this. You've been doing great. Just remember your training. Trust your body. You've got this."
I look at him, trying to read his expression. His blue eyes are warm, and his tone is sincere. I wonder if he knows what kind of effect he has on me. The look on his face makes my stomach flutter. He's so damn attractive. I wonder if he has any idea how badly I want to kiss him right now.
Before I can respond, he smiles and says, "I'll be right beside you the whole way. I'm not going to let you quit."
I give him a small smile in return. "Thanks, Ethan."
We resume walking, and soon we reach the humanities building. Despite the gloomy weather, I can hear students laughing and shouting in the quad. I stop and turn to Ethan, unsure of how to end this interaction. He seems to be having the same issue, because he rocks back on his heels and gives me an awkward wave. But he doesn't move, and neither do I. We stare at each other for a few moments, and I feel the tension building between us. I'm suddenly overcome with the desire to reach up and pull his face down to mine, to feel his lips against mine. My heart starts beating faster, and my breath catches in my throat.
I need to get out of here before I do something stupid.
"See you tomorrow," I say quickly, turning and heading into the building.
He doesn't answer, but I can feel his gaze on me as I walk away.
ETHAN
I'm at my desk in my room, hunched over my laptop. I have a finance paper due next week, and it's for a big chunk of my grade, so I can't afford to slack off. I've made good progress, but my brain feels fried. I've been at it for hours.
I lean back in my chair, rubbing my eyes. The words on the screen are starting to blur together. I take that as my cue to take a break. I stretch and then stand, moving toward the door. I need some water. Some food. I suddenly realize how hungry I am.
As I'm walking down the hall, I finally allow my mind to wander to Sienna again. I somehow managed to focus on that paper without thinking about her. But now, I'm replaying our awkward goodbye yesterday. Honestly, I had a hard time being around her, knowing how I feel. Knowing that she has no idea what's going through my mind.
I walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. I'm drinking it down, letting the cold liquid quench my thirst, when Emilia walks in.
She takes one look at me and smirks. "You're thinking about Sienna again."
"Am not," I say, too quickly.
She laughs. "Whatever you say. But you're not fooling anyone."
I roll my eyes, trying to ignore her. But she's right. Of course she's right. And the truth is, I'm tired of denying it.
I lean against the counter, staring down at the floor. "Goddammit, Emilia," I sigh. "I am thinking about her."
"Tell me everything."
So I do. I tell her about our unexpected dinner date, about the way Sienna looks at me and makes me feel. About how hard it is to keep my hands off her. Ever since I crashed their girls' night, I've been tight-lipped about anything involving Sienna. Especially around Gia. But now that I've stopped fighting my feelings so hard, there's no point in pretending.
Emilia listens quietly, nodding and smiling. When I finish, she puts a hand on my arm and says, "Ethan, you have a crush."
I groan. "Please don't call it that. I'm not a fucking twelve-year-old."
She laughs. "Okay, fine. You have feelings. Strong feelings. So what are you going to do about it?"
I shake my head. "I have no fucking clue. That's the problem."
The truth is, I know I need to handle this delicately. We barely talked for years after our high school breakup, and I'm certain our friendship would be irreparably damaged if this goes south again. Not to mention that it would make things incredibly awkward for the rest of the half marathon training.
"Well," Emilia says, raising an eyebrow, "the way you're obsessing over her, you're gonna have to do something about it. Otherwise, you're going to drive yourself crazy."
I can't argue with that. I'm already going a bit crazy. I push off the counter, sighing. "Yeah, yeah. I know. I just have no idea how to even start."
"Take it slow. Maybe right now you can just continue being there for her." Emilia pauses, then continues in a teasing voice. “After all, there's this incredibly difficult physical endeavor she's signed up for. Maybe you've heard of it?"
"The half marathon," I reply, rolling my eyes.
"Yes, that thing." She's smiling now. "She's going to need all the help and encouragement she can get. Focus on that."
I nod. Sienna did mention how nervous she is now that she's running longer distances. And that I know how to handle. I have my own experience with the aches and pains that come with increased mileage, and I've learned some tricks that can mitigate the worst parts of running. I'm sharing a few things with her as her coach, but I could definitely tailor a few things to her needs, likes, and dislikes.
"Alright," I say, "that I can do. Thanks, Em."
She grins and waves me off. "Anytime."
With that, I grab a protein bar and walk out of the kitchen, feeling much better than when I entered. Maybe now, with a clear goal, I can finally stop driving myself crazy. A plan is starting to formulate in my mind, but it involves a little bit of work. It's Thursday, which means I have until Saturday morning's training to get things ready. But for now, it's time to get back to that paper.
When Saturday morning arrives, my body is buzzing with anticipation. It's chilly, and the air has a hint of moisture. I can tell it's going to rain later. Hopefully it will hold off until after our session, because we're at 6 miles today. It's the longest distance we've tackled so far, and I doubt the group would want to do it in the rain.
I park near the starting point of today's run and head to where Russ is setting up the hydration table. It's only a few minutes before the group is scheduled to arrive, so I help him get everything ready. I've been thinking about Sienna a lot the past few days, and I came up with a way to help her out. I'm sure the others will benefit from it, too, but I'm doing this for her.
Soon enough, the runners begin trickling in. There are a couple of people who have dropped out by now. Russ mentioned that the turnover may be the highest in the weeks leading up to the 10k distance, but that it would taper off after that as the people who are the most serious about finishing the race hold steady. If Sienna can get through this, I know she'll be golden.
Russ greets everyone and then begins his speech about safety, nutrition, and proper form and breathing. While he does, I keep glancing at Sienna. As usual, she's next to Rose. She's wearing a pair of black tights and a fitted zip-up hoodie, and she looks amazing.
Finally, Russ finishes his speech, and we set off. Our group starts slowly, jogging down the sidewalk and taking the first turn onto a main road. The pace is comfortable, but it doesn't take long for everyone's muscles to loosen up. People start chatting, and I'm happy to see the group breaking off into smaller clusters. I've been waiting for that to happen, and now's my chance.
"Sienna!" I call. "How are you doing? Hanging in there?"
She nods, smiling at me. "Yeah, so far so good."
I glance at Rose, then turn back to Sienna. "You want to stay with your buddy? Or are you feeling okay to break off and talk to me for a while?"
Rose shoots me a smirk, but doesn't say anything. Sienna seems surprised by the question, and glances at her friend. Rose waves her off.
"Go ahead," she says, laughing. "I can take care of myself. I'll catch up with you later in the run."
Sienna nods, then turns back to me. I can't help but grin. It's like the stars are aligning for this.
We fall into a rhythm, our steps syncing as we round the next corner. A light breeze blows strands of her hair across her face, and I fight the urge to brush them away.
"You doing okay so far?" I ask.
"Yeah," she replies. "It's definitely a challenge, but I'm keeping up."
"Good." I pause, unsure of how to set my plan in motion. Finally, I decide that words aren't necessary and reach into the pockets of my running shorts. I produce a handful of energy chews and offer them to her. "Want one?"
Sienna raises her eyebrows, her eyes darting to the chews. Then she laughs. "They're all Mountain Berry flavored. How did you know those were my favorite?"
"I pay attention," I say, giving her a wink. "It's important to fuel during a run, so I figured I'd stock up on the ones you actually use."
She grins and takes on, popping it into her mouth. "Thanks," she says, once she's chewed and swallowed.
"You're welcome."
I return to my coach duties, catching up with each smaller group to see how they're doing and offer advice if necessary. But I keep the chews coming for Sienna, handing one to her every few miles. Rose gives me an approving smile each time I do, and I suspect I have at least one more person on Team Ethan.
"Alright," I call as we round the final corner, heading back towards the starting point. "Last mile. Let's make it count."
I glance at Sienna. Her cheeks are flushed, and her hair is matted to her forehead. She looks gorgeous even now, and all I want to do is kiss her. Instead, I reach into my pocket and pull out the last of the chews.
"Here," I say, offering her the package. "For the homestretch."
Then I head to the front of the pack, calling out encouragement to everyone as we finish the run. When we reach the end, everyone is cheering. They're all tired, sweaty, and sore, but they're also happy. They made it. They just ran 6 miles.
And just in time, too. As I expected, there's a light drizzle now. Which means that people are starting to disperse instead of waiting around for slower groups like they usually do.
To my delight, Sienna makes her way towards me after she exchanges goodbyes with Rose. She's grinning, her face lit up with happiness. I can't help but grin back at her. As she gets closer, I can see the sweat glistening on her skin, and the way her chest rises and falls as she tries to catch her breath.
"You did it," I say, when she reaches me.
"Yeah, I did!" She sounds shocked. Like she's surprised that she was able to pull it off. But I'm not surprised at all. I'm learning that she can be determined when it comes to things that matter to her. If anyone was going to stick with the training, it's her.
I hold out my hand, and she high fives me. Then, before I can stop myself, I reach forward and pull her in for a hug. It's not exactly professional, but I figure we're friends. And we've hugged plenty of times in the past.
"I'm proud of you," I murmur, breathing in the scent of her hair. She smells like rain, sweat, and that fruity vanilla scent I’ve come to know so well. "That was a huge accomplishment."
She pulls away, looking up at me. "Thanks, Ethan."
I want to say more. I want to tell her that she's going to kill this half marathon. That she's stronger than she realizes. That I've never met someone who is as beautiful, strong, and caring as her. But I don't. I keep it simple, because I'm a fucking coward.
Comments give me life (and motivation). I would be so thankful if you like, share, or comment on this chapter!
aww they are so cute <3